


boats aren't the only things that can break the ice

by 1helluvabutler



Series: the differences of sk8ter boys and sk8ter men [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alcohol, Biting, Choking, HxHBB17, M/M, Rough Sex, both hisoka and illumi are involved so ofc it's kinky af, hxhbb, ice skating!au, some violence, the alcohol and sex are not tied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 14:22:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10698840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1helluvabutler/pseuds/1helluvabutler
Summary: Finding his rebellious figure skater of a little brother was annoying task already in Illumi's opinion, and the weird handyman he met might be more of a liability than of help.





	boats aren't the only things that can break the ice

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 한국어 available: [얼음은 배로만 깨지는 건 아니다](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062681) by [MoltenLava](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MoltenLava/pseuds/MoltenLava)



> for the hunterxhunter big bang again. i promised to publish this a year ago but. well.
> 
> EDIT: yooooo check out the amazing art by amara-sessh and yamokoart!! thank you guys so much!!

The first time Illumi ever met him, he watched the man land a jump so ridiculous and powerful that it should have shattered both his ankles.

Emphasis on the words ‘should have’.

In reality, the only thing that shattered was the ice around his skates; the man didn’t even slow down to spare a glance for the damage done. The Zoldyck decided to abandon his spot at the top of the stairs and made his way down the steps, expensive shoes creaking on the rubber-coated floor as he stopped just behind the fancy plexiglass barrier to watch the stranger add more branches into the already spiderwebbing cracks all over the ice.

The redhead’s skating style was...unusual, to say at the least.

He wasn’t a figure skater. Illumi was sure of that, but it was obvious that the guy was definitely no beginner either. It was like all the usual elegance of a skater had been converted into sheer power instead, all speed and dynamite instead of over-the-top grace Illumi was used to seeing.

He looked pleased with the destruction. Illumi decided that he liked watching the man rip apart the rink. 

A chill went up Illumi’s spine when the man started twisting into a sickeningly fast spiel in the dead center of the ice, flashy mop of red hair swishing, his skates spitting aside powdered ice. llumi stepped even closer to the barrier, heart hammering in his chest. The man was mesmerizing, unusually graceful for someone with such a muscular figure.

He hadn’t even realized how near he had gotten to the barrier when a voice somewhere behind him suddenly called out, “Careful, I wouldn’t get too close to him if I were ya.”

Startled, Illumi turned to see a pink-haired woman with a bored expression slouching low in one of the plastic chairs, chin resting on a pair of slender arms propped onto the seat in front of her. Illumi recognized her as one of the employees who had let him in earlier.

“I’m sorry?”

The woman jerked her chin towards the figure on the ice. “ ‘m telling ya not to get too close, never know what that weirdo’s gonna do. The guy’s a real asshole sometimes.”

“In what way?”  Illumi asked.

“Sometimes he’ll ignore ya, sometimes he’ll attack ya. Dunno how to get rid of him either; he keeps challengin’ anyone who tries to stop’m.”

“Challenging?”

“Yeah,” she drawled, dark eyes following the man moving behind Illumi. “Sure, a guy with hair like a lollipop sayin’ ‘fight me’ doesn’ really _sound_ like a challenge-” she shrugged absently “-but he’s knocked out anyone sent aft’r him. Put some guys in a hospital a while back.”

A loud _crack_ of skates violently meeting ice echoed throughout the arena and Illumi fought the urge to turn around and look. “Don’t high-class rinks like this usually have security guards?”

“Security _was_ the guys he put in hospital.” The woman scoffed to herself and finally slid her gaze to Illumi. “He always gets outta here before we can call the cops. Nothin’ much we can do about him, ‘cept keep everyone else away.”

Illumi hummed understandingly and turned back to face the rink. The fiery man hadn’t slowed down a single bit; if anything, his style had only become more erratic, like he was determined to tire himself out as fast as possible.

“Jus’ warning ya, mister. I’d avoid him if I could.” Soft creaking from the plastic chair met Illumi’s ears; the woman was gone when he turned to look again.

Illumi returned his gaze to the ice. He wasn’t sure what he had missed during that small interaction, but there were more splinters out of the ice than before. It almost felt like the ice was being attacked instead of skated on.

Well, Illumi could definitely sense the danger the woman had been talking about.

The man skated over to the side about a quarter-rink away from where Illumi was, grinding to a stop just before he could crash into the metal panels. To Illumi’s surprise, the found himself locking eyes with an amused face.

Under Illumi’s curious gaze, the man splayed a hand on the plexiglass above the metal barrier and started forward slowly, almost boredly. He skated, dragging his handful of unusually sharp fingernails lazily along the panels. The Zoldyck narrowed his eyes as the nails raked over the plastic with a disgusting, grating sound, like someone slowly dragging a rock along a deserted dirt road.

The whole situation felt so surreal. If Illumi didn’t know any better, he would have said he had imagined it. However, he was pretty sure he wasn’t imagining the five shallow scratches trailing after the dragged hand, disappearing where the redhead had left the plastic to circle the center of the ice.

Illumi was also pretty sure he hadn’t imagined the wink the skater had thrown him when his nails slit across the plastic directly over Illumi’s throat.

His skin tingled.

Unusual.

Illumi turned and left the man to destroy the rink, crossing off Examiner rink from the ever-shortening list he pulled up on his phone. 

* * *

The second time Illumi met him, the mystery man attacked Illumi with a skate and a maniacal grin, drawing blood from a cut to his cheek that sent a disgusting shiver up Illumi’s spine.

The predatory gleam was definitely there in those golden eyes as the man dipped a surprisingly gentle thumb into the smear of blood, letting it pool over his sharp fingernail. Illumi’s heart hammered in his throat; strangely, he felt more impatient than scared of the redhead, of being pinned against a plastic chair with blood dripping down his cheek.

People tended to avoid the Zoldyck skaters at most times, giving them a wide, but polite, berth when they had to interact, even the ones who didn’t know who the Zoldycks were. Being attacked in an ice rink by a (admittedly attractive) stranger with no apparent sense of personal space was a new one for Illumi. New and definitely unusual, but Illumi wasn’t sure if it was entirely unpleasant.

The man’s yellow eyes gleamed mysteriously when he cocked a smirk. “You’re wonderful like this~”  

Attractive or not, the man still gave off a vibe that made the Zoldyck’s flesh crawl.

Illumi slapped him.

The wide-eyed wheeze of surprise he got turned into a breathless chuckle. The redhead was still laughing when he straightened up, freeing Illumi from the chair.

“Quite a strong arm you have,” he commented, voice like honey as he tucked back a piece of loose hair. Illumi stared at him cryptically. “Another time, then,” the man added. And winked.

Illumi should have punched him instead.

The man made a show of picking up his discarded skates, hips swaying teasingly with a smirk that grew when he noticed Illumi averting his eyes. Illumi stared pointedly at the ice, noting the impossibly deep scratches covering most of it.

Until the last time they met, Illumi hadn’t been sure it was even possible to crack an ice rink like that. Now, he was seeing the culprit at the scene of his destruction for the second time, all suspiciousness and seduction compressed into that single muscular figure that made Illumi’s pulse race for reasons he wasn’t so sure were related to the attack.

To be fair, the guy had warned him. One with very short notice, but a warning nonetheless, like he had been asking for permission before dragging the bottom of a skate over Illumi’s cheekbone. And Illumi had allowed him.

Skates finally in hand, the man sauntered past without another glance back. Illumi was absolutely certain the guy had thrown a bit of extra sway into his backside. 

* * *

The third time Illumi ever met him, the mystery man gave him a single look before throwing him a bottle of something colorful he fished from the sports-bag beside him. A second bottle of his own rested lazily in his other hand.

Begrudgingly, Illumi stared at the bottle he just caught and came to the conclusion that it was alcohol. Drinking on a park bench after sunset seemed hardly like something that a respectable member of society would do; even so, Illumi found himself stamping down that tiny voice in his mind that sounded so annoyingly much like Mother and decided to step closer instead. Yellow eyes considered the figure skater over a bottle-rim.

"Hisoka." The man’s voice was a dangerously sultry baritone as he finally introduced himself. Illumi ignored the way his spine tingled from that single word and instead focused on twisting the cap off his drink.

"Illumi."

"I know." Hisoka grinned, seeing Illumi join him on the bench. "You Zoldycks have quite the reputation after all.”

Illumi chose to sip his drink instead of answering. A strange, almost spicy fruity flavor invaded his mouth, and for some reason Illumi wasn't even surprised by the man's choice of drinks. Not something he would have chosen for himself, but it wasn’t necessarily bad, Illumi mused as he settled into the rickety bench.

The park around them was nearly deserted; old streetlamps sputtering on the last dregs of their cost-saving battery-fed electricity scheme were managing to pump out just barely enough light to to illuminate the main pathway and the scarce benches along it. A man was walking his dog further along the path, the blob of brown fur weaving excitedly into and out of the darkness lining the main path. Illumi found himself tracing the movement with his eyes.

“It’s uncommon,” Hisoka suddenly popped the bubble of silence.

“What is?”

“To see someone accept alcohol from a complete stranger. I would’ve thought celebrities had to be especially careful with that kind of thing.”

“Isn’t accepting alcohol from a complete stranger the entire reason why some people choose to visit bars?” Illumi asked, deciding to ignore the last part. “Besides, it is also uncommon to attack a complete stranger with a skate, but that seemed to be the social norm that you chose to break.”

The streetlight’s dim glow glinted off Hisoka’s bottle as he played with it. “You seemed to enjoy yourself.”

The memory of Hisoka’s sharp, blood-covered nail digging into his cheek suddenly resurfaced and Illumi could almost _feel_ the hot breath on his neck sending a jolt straight to his-

“I could have had you arrested for that,” Illumi cleared his throat nonchalantly, forcing his train of thought into the previous, more appropriate tracks. Hisoka's amused expression didn’t change.

“Could you have really?”

“Yes.”

“But you didn’t.” Hisoka’s tone was almost smug.

Illumi hummed thoughtfully. “Seems so.”

Silence settled over them again like a blanket, heavy but comfortable. Illumi actually enjoyed it for the first minute, until it, akin to an actual blanket, threatened to smother their already faint dregs of conversation. The Zoldyck sipped his drink and tried to ignore the way Hisoka kept stealing glimpses at him through the corner of his odd yellow eyes.

Deciding he had had enough silence for one of the first times in his life, Illumi straightened up. His companion also perked up at the movement. “There is something regarding you that I am curious about.”

“Curious?” Hisoka tilted his head. “And you think I can possibly satisfy your curiosity?”

Illumi pointedly ignored the way Hisoka tried to linger on the word ‘satisfy’, eyes glinting; instead he took a swallow of alcohol and relished the way it burned on its way down. Whatever this thing in their bottles was, it was strong. “Judging by the way the staff reacted to your presence at the rink, I would assume that you were banned from it.”

“You would be correct.” Hisoka’s tone was light when he answered. “I’m banned from a lot of rinks,” he added, taking a swig.

Illumi hummed thoughtfully. “How did you manage to get inside? 

“It’s interesting how easily new employees will let you in if you happen to be wearing a worker’s name tag.”

“Ah, so you cheated your way in.”

“How mean,” Hisoka snorted, sounding more amused than offended. “I accidentally wore my own name tag from work, and the girl at the front just let me in with nothing but a happy nod. I had nothing else to do with it.”

“And your own name tag just happened to look exactly like the ones used at Examiner rink, “ Illumi said flatly.

To his credit, Hisoka actually tried to conjure up a face of innocence before answering. “It’s not my fault the employee tags at every ice rink in this city look the same.”

“Which one do you work at, then?”

Hisoka smiled slyly. “Would you come visit me if I told you?”

“I’m not sure I would have a reason to,” Illumi slapped the hand steadily inching over the bench towards his shoulders and the redhead pulled the offended limb back with a pout.

Illumi couldn’t remember the last time he talked this much to a stranger outside of an interview. He decided to blame it on Hisoka’s mystery alcohol. Part of him wondered if he should just stay quiet for a while.

“What does one even do, working at an ice rink?” Illumi found himself asking anyway. Goddammit.

Hisoka looked pleasantly surprised hearing Illumi talk again. “A lot. I fix things when they break, but mostly I manage ice maintenance.”

“Ah,” Illumi managed lamely. He didn’t even know why he had asked.

Ice maintenance, huh. The mental image of a muscled Hisoka uncomfortably crunched into a tiny Zamboni seat brought Illumi a tiny smile he quickly tried to hide behind his bottle.

Hisoka narrowed his eyes. “What?”

Damn, seen after all.

“Nothing,” he lied. “I just thought that for someone who works to maintain the ice, you sure like to destroy it at other rinks.”

“There’s no point in showing my abilities in a place I have to repair myself. Besides, I pay for replacing the ice if they ask me to.”

“Abilities,” Illumi raised his eyebrows. “You mean the Phantom Troupe considers terrorizing the ice an ability?”

The bottle stalled halfway to Hisoka’s mouth. “‘Terrorizing the ice’ seems a bit strong coming from someone whose skating style has actually gotten them the nickname ‘assassin’.” Hisoka snorted at Illumi’s eye-roll and took a long drink before continuing. “How did you guess it was the Troupe?”

“Your skating style,” Illumi shrugged, absently swirling the contents of his bottle as his mind wandered back to the man’s irregular skating pattern. “Freestyle, wasn’t it? As far as I know, the only group in this country with a style as…aggressive as yours is the Phantom Troupe.”

Hisoka hummed, looking impressed. “Clever clever, Illumi, but I’m afraid you’re not entirely correct anymore. I was removed from the Phantom Troupe’s lineup a few months ago.”

“Why?”

“Creative differences,” Hisoka’s smirk stretched impossibly wide as he stared wistfully into the distance. Illumi decided he didn’t really want to know any more.

The dogwalker had disappeared down the path; the park was eerily quiet except for the quiet rumble of cars from the nearby roads. If Illumi had been sitting there alone, he would have found it comfortable. With the redhead there, however, there was just the tiniest bit of restlessness swimming in the pit of his stomach.

It wasn’t fear.

Illumi wasn’t sure what it was.

“Your brother is part of the Troupe,” Hisoka commented offhandedly, breaking the silence once again. “My replacement, actually,”

Illumi nodded absently. “So I’ve heard.”

“I wouldn’t have guessed a person from such a high-class skating family such as yours would allow one of their children to join a group like that.”

“Zoldycks are allowed to make their own decisions,” Illumi replied cautiously. Something about the question set off warning bells in his head.

“Even the ones you have high hopes for?”

Ah.

“You seem to know a lot about my family.” Illumi narrowed his eyes.

Hisoka shrugged, not seeming to mind the indirect answer. “They seem like strong opponents. I like to keep an eye on possibilities.”

A disturbing thought came to Illumi and he lowered the bottle.

Hisoka’s brow furrowed when he noticed the suspicious look he was getting from Illumi. “What?”

“You stalk people.”

“I happen to _repeatedly find_ people.” Hisoka sounded miffed. Illumi raised an eyebrow at him.

“Were you the person who once stole Father’s suitcase at a competition?”

“I-” Hisoka started and promptly snapped his mouth shut instead, suddenly very interested in staring dead ahead at the darkness. It took him all of three seconds to decide to finish off the bottle in his hands before commenting a dejected, “To be fair, I thought he would come after it.”

Illumi snorted. He really did feel a bit tipsy.

Hisoka lobbed his empty bottle neatly into a conveniently-nearby trashcan, where it shattered with a noisy crash; Illumi watched him heave the green sports bag into his lap with a sigh, rifting through it until he unearthed something small from its depths, hidden from Illumi’s view by Hisoka’s hand. The handyman shook a piece of _something_ into his mouth from it and Illumi blinked in surprise when the tubular packet was suddenly shoved under his own nose.

“Gum?”

Illumi stared at the offer dubiously. Yellow eyes stared at him, expecting an answer, unblinking as Hisoka blew a bright red bubble. The bubble popped and suddenly the air around them smelled like sharp cinnamon.

“No thank you.” Alcohol might have been one thing, but accepting gum on a dark park bench from someone as sketchy as Hisoka was where even Illumi drew the line.

Hisoka shrugged and dropped the gum back into his bag. “Suit yourself.”

They sat in silence for a while, Illumi sloshing around his drink and Hisoka snapping his gum. Illumi wasn’t sure if it was awkward or not; it didn’t bother him, but not a lot of things bothered him anyway. Hisoka seemed comfortable enough at least.

The silence didn’t bother Illumi, but there was something else that did, something still nagging at his thoughts. Hisoka had said something odd earlier. Maybe, just _maybe_ it was odd enough to be useful to Illumi.

It had to be because of the alcohol buzzing at the folds of his thoughts, Illumi was convinced about that; there was no other way he could have possibly even come up with the idea at any other time. However, right now was not any other time; right now had Illumi sharing drinks on a park bench after sunset with a man who attacked him the last time they met.

Said man was also possibly the best chance of Illumi finding his little brother without tracking devices, or straight-up hiring a private detective. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed help.

“Hisoka.”

The bottle chinked softly against Illumi's teeth one last time before it was lowered; he watched Hisoka's eyes curiously follow the movement before zeroing back in on his own. 

"I may need a favor from you.”

Something about Hisoka’s new expression only reinforced the sinking pit of regret already forming in Illumi’s stomach.

 

* * *

 

His phone beeped exactly a week later, an unknown number lighting up the Zoldyck family photo on his lockscreen. Illumi thought about ignoring it like most of the messages he got, but a small voice in his head whispered a hesitant argument in favor of opening the three attached pictures. For some reason, Illumi decided to listen and he unlocked his phone.

**14:32 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_Found him~❤_ ︎

Illumi stared. The first two of the photos were blurry with just enough movement to make the figure’s identity doubtable, but the third and final had a clear shot of the young skater on it, expression stern as he brushed his white hair off of his face.

Illumi didn't even want to know where the hell Hisoka had even gotten his number.

**14:33 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_If you’re nice and do something for me, I might just tell you where he is~_

The Zoldyck just barely stopped himself from wrinkling his nose.

**14:33 Outgoing message to: (120)672xxx**  

_Don’t joke around._

**14:33 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_I wasn’t joking. Motivate me~❤_ ︎

**14:34 Outgoing message to: (120)672xxx**

_Forget it. Thank you for the pictures, I’ll find him myself._

…

...

**14:36 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_Shame ♣️️_

Illumi rolled his eyes at the last message and reopened the pictures Hisoka sent. The skater in all three was definitely Killua; after all the years Illumi spent training him alongside with Father, he could have recognized that figure anywhere.

The figure Illumi could _not_ recognize, however, was the teenager caught in the background of two of the three pictures. Seemingly just as unaware of being photographed as Killua was, the spiky-haired boy sat two rows above the kiss-and-cry, watching Killua’s skating with an air of excitement not even the photo could diminish. Illumi found it odd; even while Hisoka clearly hadn’t gotten the best angle for the photos, the rink looked deserted except for the two. If Illumi knew his little brother at all, Killua had most likely used the famous Zoldyck family charm (and funds) to reserve the whole rink for himself, which made the presence of the green-clad teenager even odder.

He was certainly too young to be neither a reporter nor coach, Illumi mused, studying the picture. An employee at the ice rink, maybe - but Illumi did have his doubts about that option as well.

…A fan, perhaps?

No. Illumi throttled that idea immediately. They had taught Killua better than that. There was no way Killua would allow a fan to watch him practice.

Temporarily pushing the concerns of the stranger’s identity to the very bottom of his mind, Illumi focused on the pictures once more - or everything except the people in them to be exact.  There was more than enough to focus on.

The rink itself seemed fairly small, with more seats than actual ice in it. The layers upon layers of plastic chairs seemed discolored and replaced enough to be mismatching in some places; the few last, topmost rows looked actually more like wooden benches to Illumi. It was a very old ice rink, that was for certain. It shouldn’t be very difficult to find any and all rinks matching those conditions.

Hisoka would have to be actually repaid for the pictures. Whatever the man could possibly want, the Zoldycks surely had the means to compensate for it; no price was too high for their prodigy. Illumi allowed himself a rare smile and slipped his phone back into his designer jeans. 

He had a little brother to find.

 

* * *

 

**16:32 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_[Attached image]_

The screen displayed a pair of hands around an ice cream cone, the left with a dangerous-looking set of nails sharpened to impressive points, while the right one had its nails filed down to not-particularly-impressive stumps.

**16:48 Outgoing message to: (120)672xxx**

_Why do you keep your nails like that? Why not keep them sharp on both hands?_

**17:32 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_It’s more practical to keep some nails shorter_

**17:33 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_Look what I can do with them~❤_

**17:34 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_[Attached image]_

The assistant waiting outside the Zoldyck private rink for Illumi to finish practice suddenly witnessed a very bashed phone crash through the rink door and embed itself in the soft corkboard behind.

 

* * *

 

The heavy rink doors swung shut behind Illumi, trapping him in the ever-dim hallway of the Paladinight Rink. He wasn’t even surprised to see Hisoka there. The handyman leaned back against the wall with a bored expression and nodded a greeting that Illumi returned.

“I see you found him.”

“Some of your pictures were of use, so yes,” Illumi responded, picking a piece of lint off his blue shirt. Somehow, it felt like his clothes would become a homing beacon for all possible sorts of trash whenever he visited a new ice rink for the first time, Illumi thought sourly as he spotted a single red hair clinging to his sleeve. His dark eyes snapped back to the figure in front of him. “You didn’t tell me there would be another person in the rink with him.”

Hisoka shrugged offhandedly. “I didn’t think it was important information.”

“You do not get to decide what is important information to _me_ , Hisoka.” Venom had seeped into Illumi’s voice; even the Zoldyck himself could tell it sounded more vicious than he would have normally considered acceptable for himself.

Hisoka shook his head slowly and clicked his tongue in a disapproving manner. “No need to be so hostile, Illumi - I did do you a favor after all. Who knows when you might need my help again~?”

“As soon as I pay back my favor, hopefully never.”

“So cruel,” Hisoka smirked, pushing himself off the wall and sending Illumi a final tilt of his head. “I’ll be in touch.”

Something in Illumi’s veins prickled uncomfortably watching the man saunter off into the shadows.

 

* * *

 

**Message preview from: (120)672xxx**

_I'm recalling the favor~ Why don’t..._

The notification flashed across his lockscreen and Illumi stared at it, internally debating whether he should open the text or just ignore it like all the other ones he got from Hisoka.

_Recalling the favor_ would mean that Hisoka would have to be answered this time. Illumi unlocked his phone and scrolled to the latest arrival in a long row of unopened messages, all of them from Hisoka.

**15:03 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_I'm recalling the favor~ Why don't we meet up and see what you can do for me?_

Illumi pursed his lips and typed out a reply.

**15:04 Outgoing message to: (120)672xxx**  

_Not_ _right now, Killua is performing for me today._

**15: 04 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_I know~❤_

**15:05 Incoming message from: (120)672xxx**

_Come to the Paladiknight rink in the next half-hour. Meet me upstairs by the rink doors._

Illumi could feel a muscle twitching in his jaw. Forcing out a slow breath, he switched off his phone to avoid the slew of emoticons that was sure to follow in the next minute or so, and told the driver to hurry.

 

* * *

 

Hisoka looked different. His usual red hair was streaked with green; it contrasted nicely with the dark shades of makeup Hisoka had opted for today, blending him into the shadowy hallway even better than usually. Illumi almost hadn’t even noticed him if it hadn’t been for the soft electronic glow of a phone screen illuminating the handyman leaning against the wall.

Hisoka didn’t even bother putting it away when Illumi approached, just his eyes flicking up momentarily to identify the footsteps. They stood in silence while Hisoka continued fiddling with his phone, Illumi staring down at the empty rink through the small, fake-glass portal in the rink door. He could just barely make out the flicker of movement by what he assumed is the kiss-and-cry; the figures down there were tiny, but Killua should have been the one of the two people bustling around that area, clad respectively in black, not like the other figure who was in a particularity ugly shade of green. Illumi’s brain immediately eliminated the thought of _Killua_ voluntarily wearing a color like that, which brought the list of logical culprits down to three.

Either it was a rink worker, a reporter, or -Illumi forced a slow breath at the thought-  the same stranger he found Killua with last time.

“Is that boy still there?” Illumi asked Hisoka, not bothering to mask the drop of annoyance in his voice.

“Hm?” Hisoka looked up from his phone to follow Illumi’s line of sight. “You mean Gon?”

“If that’s what he is called, then I’ll take that as a yes.”

“I think it’s fairly obvious that your brother wants Gon to be there.” Hisoka’s head turned back to his phone, fingers rapidly tap-tapping out a text to someone; a _ping_ of reply echoed through the hallway and Hisoka stopped typing. “I'm not entirely sure he feels the same way about needing you, though.”

Illumi felt his blood freeze. One could have sworn the temperature in the hallway dropped to an positively unfriendly chill, like it had been infected with Illumi’s hostility. “What makes you say that?”

Unaffected, Hisoka pocketed his phone and smiled. “What other reason than to see that expression on you, Illumi,” he says, innocent grin slipping into something way more sinister, almost wolfish. “It really does suit you so well~”

Ah, well. Illumi felt like he really shouldn’t have expected anything else from the man.

“So clothes aren’t the only thing you have odd tastes in,” he commented, feeling his shoulders unknot a bit. Hisoka instantly looked like someone just offered him a glass of sour milk.

Illumi ignored it and pulled out his own phone; it told him he still had exactly 26 minutes before he’s to meet Killua. If Hisoka wanted to do something, he would have to do it before that.

“You wanted to see me?”

“I most certainly did.” Hisoka slid an appreciative look over Illumi, the Zoldyck’s last jab against him apparently already forgotten.

“Well I’m here now,” Illumi decided against raising an eyebrow. “What do you want?”

“It’s time for us to discuss your favor.”

“Obviously,” he sighed. “Now what do you want me to do?”

"I want you to fight me.”

A confused silence bubbled between them, at least from Illumi’s side. Hisoka on the other hand, looked more than confident in what he was asking for. Maybe Illumi had just heard him wrong.

“Fight you?” Illumi blinked, cocking his head to the side in a puzzled manner when Hisoka’s smirk flashed a lovely set of teeth. “Right now?”

“On the ice,” Hisoka’s attempt to clarify was a pretty weak one. Illumi deemed his ears to be working fine after all.

“You mean like a competition,” he tried hesitantly. Hisoka perked up, like that was exactly what he had been talking about.

“Pair skating is your specialty isn't it, Illumi? It shouldn’t be to difficult to work with a new partner for you.” Hisoka was leaning closer now, grin bordering on malicious. Like a cat accidentally locked into a canary cage full of those flightless snacks. “I heard you change them fairly often.”

“No.” Illumi leaned back, unimpressed. “We are not skating together.”

“Really?” Yellow eyes scanned Illumi’s face as if looking for signs of dishonesty from the skater. Illumi stared back. Hisoka sighed and pursed his lips, clearly disappointed.

“You can wipe that look off your face, I don’t deal with unofficial competitions.” Illumi’s mind flashed back to nearly everything his parents had ever taught him about dealing with his fans. Hisoka was wasting his time if he was planning on convincing the Zoldyck into a skating match. “You're going to have to ask for something else.”

A childish pout morphed the handyman’s face. “Why so quick to turn it down?”

Illumi was suddenly aware of how close Hisoka was standing to him, but for the life of him, the Zoldyck couldn’t remember either of them actually moving forward; it was something that would definitely have bothered him, if his attention hadn't just gotten occupied by the single, slender finger Hisoka was tantalizingly slowly trailing up the front of Illumi’s shirt.

“Fight me, Illumi.” The finger stopped just above the smooth dip between his collarbones; Illumi could feel his pulse thrumming under the sharp nail, strong, steady, way too excited in his opinion.

“I won't.”

“Then-” the nail started traveling upwards again and Illumi suddenly found it just a bit difficult to focus at the sharp sensation “-how about a kiss.”

Heat coursed through Illumi’s veins. “No.”

“That was a suspiciously fast answer, Illumi~” The playful lilt in Hisoka’s voice was suddenly back and inwardly Illumi cursed at himself for even giving the man a reason to have it. “Were you thinking about kissing me?”

Illumi eased the finger off his chin. “Pick something else.”

“There is nothing else.” Hisoka’s tone was light, teasing. Hisoka’s eyes were not.

Illumi suddenly found his throat very dry.

“Why are those the only two options?”

“They aren't,” Hisoka said, shrugging. His fingers toyed with a lock of Illumi’s long hair he had snagged earlier, inky strands splayed distractingly in his hand. “However, I am pretty certain these two are the only ones I could talk you into.”

This was ridiculous.  “The Zoldyck skaters don’t participate in unnecessary matches, everyone knows that,” Illumi said. Hisoka gave him a flat look.

“Don't get offended, Illumi, but I'm fairly certain that whatever Killua is about to do counts as an unnecessary match.”

“It isn't a match, it’s Killua blindly trying to prove something necessary wrong, that’s all. I’m not even skating.”

“His performance is being judged. He has a certain criteria to meet. That counts as a match.”

If Illumi didn’t know any better, he would have said Hisoka looked almost hopeful. He fixed the handyman with his flattest stare he could muster. “I am not skating with you, nor am I skating against you.” Hisoka deflated a bit. “I can recommend you an opponent if you want, but that will be the extent of our interaction on the ice.”

“But-”

“No.”

The momentary disappointment shadowing Hisoka’s face withered away to showcase an expression like a poisonous flower, equal parts beautiful and dangerous. “Well, I would say it sounds like your choice is already made then.”

Ah damn. Illumi had already almost forgotten about his other choice. Pulse thrumming in his ears, he pulled his lips into a hard line. “Why would you ask for something as ridiculous as that?”

”I wouldn't be asking for something I had absolutely no chance of getting.” Hisoka made a motion that looked vaguely like an eyeroll; his gaze settled back on Illumi and the skater’s heart thumped ominously. “Eyes like the ones you like to give me usually convey some type of frustration towards me. Usually it’s anger-” Hisoka’s eyes flicked to Illumi’s hand, the same one he got slapped by once, long ago. Illumi’s skin burned as Hisoka’s eyes lingered on him way longer than necessary on the way back up.

“-but maybe it’s not always anger,” Hisoka added after a pause. A very distracting tongue suddenly flicked over a pair of painted lips. “Right, Illumi?"

The Zoldyck said nothing, but the thoughts in his head were spinning faster than light.

“Feel free to correct me if I am.”

It would have been so easy to say something, _anything,_ Illumi thought, as not a single sound escaped his stubborn lips.

“Unless you _do_ want to kiss me?”

Illumi stared pointedly at the tiny mole peeking out from under Hisoka’s turtleneck; _anywhere_ but those golden eyes, his whirling mind was telling him. “This is ridiculous.”

Hisoka’s eyes flashed with silent laughter. Illumi narrowed his eyes.

“Don’t be annoying.”  He suddenly felt very fed up with the idea of drawing the meeting out longer than it needed to be. "On the cheek is fine, right?"

"Only if that’s truly what you think your information was worth,” he said, smirking. Illumi didn't move. Awkward seconds ticked by and Illumi was starting to wonder if he should say something when Hisoka snorted and tilted one side of his face forward.

Illumi stared at him.

“On the cheek then,” he was told simply.

On the cheek, Illumi had offered. On the cheek, Hisoka had accepted.

Oh please, Illumi could do way better than a cheek.

So better’s exactly what Illumi did when he cradled Hisoka's jaw and kissed him hard on the mouth instead, tongue tasting cinnamon when it met Hisoka's. The initial surprised smirk pressed against Illumi’s mouth quickly melted away into something tougher, something almost desperate that had Hisoka nipping and sucking at his lips, had them both dragging back needy noises, had-

And Hisoka's mouth was suddenly gone, Illumi's hands grasping air instead of an angular face. "Thank you, Illumi."

"Wh-"  the pathetic sound escaped Illumi’s throat before he could help it. The handyman might as well have had slapped him mid-kiss.

“I think we can both agree that the favor has been repaid with that,” Hisoka panted out, cheeks just the tiniest bit flushed. Illumi felt unreasonably betrayed.

"Although, I must admit...” Hisoka trailed off and thumbed his kiss-smeared lipstick, one corner of his mouth quirking devilishly at the sight of purple staining his fingertips. “This was definitely one of the most memorable instances of anyone accepting a request of mine. Makes me wonder how good you would be to fight.”

It wasn’t fair. Kissing Hisoka unexpectedly like that was supposed to have given Illumi the edge over him, not make him get a stupid scorch of heat thrumming through his veins.

Illumi wanted to punch him.

Illumi wanted to punch him square in the face, just to hurt him a bit, because he just couldn’t help feeling unreasonably annoyed right now. Illumi could feel his blood bubbling excitedly at the thought, at the thought of Hisoka with bruises forming on his gaunt face, of Hisoka staring at him with hunger in those yellow eyes, Hisoka at his mercy, Hisoka _begging_ with blood smeared like that purple lipstick around a bite-riddled smirk-

"Oh, _hell_ ," Illumi swore and grabbed Hisoka by the back of his head to crash their mouths together, drinking up the greedy little noises made when their teeth clinked together painfully. He could taste blood on Hisoka's tongue when it delved into Illumi's mouth and Illumi was dangerously close to moaning as it mixed with the sharp tang of cinnamon.

“ _Even better_ .” llumi barely recognized Hisoka’s snarl against his lips, and he shoved his own tongue further into the spicy-sweet mouth to shut him up. The thought of Hisoka thinking about this, anticipating _this_ , pissed Illumi off to no end.

Gel-hardened hair crunched disgustingly under Illumi’s fingers as he pulled Hisoka closer to himself. Sharp nails scratched against his own scalp and Illumi couldn't help the shudder at the mental image of Hisoka’s blood-covered fingertips dragging down his skin.

“Here?” Illumi gasped out, mildly distracted by the hand Hisoka slipped up the back of his shirt. The mouth sucking and nibbling at Illumi’s neck detached with a wet _plop_ and an amused “Maybe not _here_ ,” was all Illumi heard before Hisoka licked a hot stripe up the shell of his ear and Illumi’s mind went blank.

The hand in his hair roamed downwards to squeeze his ass and Illumi hissed, grinding up against an eager pair of hips, suddenly desperate for that friction, god so hot god so _good_ when Illumi hitched his legs around Hisoka's toned hips and Hisoka lurched under the sudden weight, tongue hot on Illumi’s neck; Illumi could feel the sculpted muscles rippling under his legs even through the layers of clothing and realized just how thin his patience was getting with his pants in the way.

Illumi felt too drunk with pleasure to manage more than a breathy _“god,”_ just coherent enough to barely make out Hisoka backing them through a pair of heavy doors into darkness.

The Zoldyck didn’t even have enough time to look at his surroundings before he was suddenly spun around and slammed against a locker, groaning as Hisoka ground down on him. A padlock dug painfully into his lower back. Illumi hissed and arched into Hisoka’s touch, only to get pushed back with a teasing chuckle.  

“Is this how you treat everyone you owe favors to?” Hisoka’s laughed breathlessly, fumbling to get his shirt over his head.

“Fuck you,” Illumi panted and arched off the locker to nip at the now-revealed skin. Skaters sure had visible muscles, but Hisoka obviously had to be doing something besides that because _how._

“Rude.” Hisoka kissed him again, all tongue and heat and _god_ that sweet friction when he finally dropped Illumi’s legs to the floor and let him scratch patterns into his muscled back while they kissed.

Hisoka’s hands were nowhere near gentle; pain shot up wherever those sharp nails scratched and nicked Illumi’s skin under his shirt, fingers molding bruises into Illumi’s hips.

Illumi didn't think he had ever been so turned on in his life.

Hisoka groaned as Illumi bit down on his shoulder, _hard._ Some part of Illumi could still register this as abnormal, the taste of copper in his mouth, the way Hisoka's eyes rolled back in pleasure, the way the bulge grinding against Illumi’s thigh was suddenly a lot more noticeable. Some other part of Illumi registered that he didn’t care and he kissed Hisoka again, that disgusting flavor of blood and cinnamon overpowering on his tongue.

Hisoka wasted no time in sucking marks down Illumi’s neck, leaving a trail of heat and smudges of his purple lipstick into anything he could reach past Illumi’s open shirt collar. A clever hand managed to undo both Illumi’s belt and trouser-buttons somehow without him noticing and Illumi suddenly found himself kicking the fabric off his feet somewhere away from them.

“You seem excited.” Hisoka trailed a teasing finger over the skater’s obvious bulge, catching the bucking hips with his other hand. “Don’t get out that much?”

“Zold- _ah_ -” Illumi grit his teeth at Hisoka’s attempt to get another moan out of him. “Zoldyck’s don’t sleep with every random person they meet,” Illumi grit out, eyes squeezed shut so tight they hurt as Hisoka palmed his hardening cock through his boxers.

“Well that certainly explains _this_ ,” Hisoka chuckled, pressing down. Illumi’s jaw hurt from clenching it so hard, desperate not to let Hisoka hear another filthy sound.

Oh, _god_ , Hisoka’s hand slipped into his underwear and Illumi’s whimper was muffled into his bottom lip bitten between his teeth. His cock twitched and Illumi could _feel_ the precome leaking out, humiliatingly staining both the fabric and the fingers slowly rubbing at his slit.

“ _Hiso-”_ Illumi choked on his moan when said person decided to shove his underwear down as well and Illumi’s dick was left in a very hot and very eager hand, pumping slowly, teasingly, smearing the fat pearls of precome dripping down his erection.

Hisoka didn’t even try to hold down Illumi’s hips this time.

Illumi didn’t even notice the bottle of lube until it clattered to the floor, Hisoka letting go of the skater’s cock to hoist one of Illumi’s legs back onto his hip. Slippery fingers -the right ones, with blunt nails, Illumi noticed absently as he hooked the leg around Hisoka again- circled teasingly around Illumi’s entrance, Hisoka’s weight pinning him back against the locker.

“See?” Hisoka purred out, licking his earlobe when he noticed Illumi’s gaze on his hand. He pushed the first finger inside slowly and Illumi shuddered. _“Practical,_ like I said.”

That finger could definitely not be as long as it felt. It burned, but it also made Illumi ache in a way that soon had him rocking against the metal, almost desperate to have it moving, thrusting.

Hisoka’s other hand slipped around his dick again and Illumi did his best not to moan when there were now two fingers up his ass, filling him, stretching him, tearing a disgracefully desperate “ _more_ ” from Illumi’s throat.

“So needy,” Hisoka purred, and stalled his fingers.

What the fuck, _no,_ Illumi narrowed his eyes warningly. “Hisoka-”

The handyman gave his fingers a brief wiggle and Illumi’s eyes rolled back into his skull. “What’s the magic word~?”

This was insane. Hisoka seemed in no hurry to give him _anything_ more than a what he already had inside Illumi, no matter what the bulge straining the front of his tight jeans said. Illumi decided to seize his neck and make him hurry.

Hisoka jerked in surprise, fingers spasming inside Illumi. The Zoldyck barely managed to bite back his moan as he pulled the handyman closer by the neck.

“Hisoka-” Illumi exhaled, breath burning as it ghosted onto a suddenly very excited-looking handyman.

“You better fuck me before I change my mind.”

Hisoka’s grin was every shade just short of feral. “That works too.”

A third finger suddenly joined the first two and Illumi hissed in surprise, hands tightening around Hisoka’s throat. Illumi’s head swum as the long fingers settled just barely brushing the sensitive nub inside him; with a jolt he realized the strangled gurgling echoing off the lockers wasn’t coming from himself.

Illumi released his grip and the gurgling immediately turned to heaving gasps, raw and desperately hot against Illumi’s skin. “Sor-”

Hisoka cut the apology short with a shake of his head and instead squeezed a twitching hand over Illumi’s and coughed out a raw demand, _“again.”_

Illumi stared. “What, you _want_ -”

“Yes,” Hisoka whimpered, eyes wild and he forced Illumi’s fingers tighter.

_Jesus_.

Illumi watched with a mixture of curiosity and disgust as Hisoka’s eyes rolled back into his skull, mouth open in a silent moan he couldn’t get enough air for. More pressure from Illumi’s fingers made a strand of saliva pool at a corner of his lips.

“You are truly disgusting,” Illumi whispered to the reddening figure rasping under his hands. Hisoka answered with a sharp flick to his prostate. Illumi jerked against the lockers and let go of Hisoka’s windpipe with a choked-off noise, head hazy with pleasure; he stared at the finger-shaped splotches slowly etching into the coughing throat and he dragged the handyman into a rough kiss that had Hisoka frantically gasping for air.

The clothed dick nudging Illumi’s ass was definitely harder than before. Illumi bucked his hips against it as well as he could and earned a groan and nearly vicious gleam in those yellow eyes.

Hisoka welcomed the throttling chokehold with a leer, fingers twitching inside Illumi as the skater did his best to impatiently wrestle down Hisoka’s pants with a single hand. Illumi’s short fight with Hisoka’s ridiculous belt was rewarded with the hot weight of a dick in his palm.   

“No underwear?” Illumi arched an eyebrow. A smug expression flickered over Hisoka’s simpering face. His hips rutted needily into Illumi’s hand.

Illumi allowed Hisoka a single, ragged breath before he reclaimed the throat with both his hands; Hisoka’s eyes rolled back and he bucked against Illumi’s thigh, precome smearing splotches onto the flushed skin. Illumi rocked on Hisoka’s fingers, so deep God _so deep_ inside him.

Hisoka looked dangerously close to passing out with his eyes rolled back in ecstasy and lack of oxygen, loose strands of sweaty hair plastered across his maroon face. Illumi’s breath hitched and he tore his hands off the abused throat. Hisoka’s legs buckled and he slumped against Illumi, chest hot and heaving against Illumi’s shirt.

“Was that too much?”

Instead of answering, Hisoka curled his fingers just into that bundle of nerves and Illumi twitched.

“Move us,” Illumi ordered, struggling to keep his voice steady.

Hisoka nodded jerkily, breathing raspy and uneven, using his free hand to hook Illumi’s legs better back around himself; Illumi wanted to sob when Hisoka’s fingers slid even deeper up him, and each one of those heavy steps sent shudders down to his core.

Hisoka hadn’t made it past than the nearest wall before Illumi found his back pinned against it, hissing at the cold stone searing his exposed skin. At least there wasn’t a padlock anymore, Illumi mused absently, meeting Hisoka’s mouth again. Just then Hisoka did something with his fingers that left Illumi gasping for breath.

“Hisoka-” Illumi’s voice sounded too much like a whine “-would you-”

The rest of his request drowned into Hisoka’s needy mouth sucking at his. Illumi snagged the man’s lips between his teeth; Hisoka redrew his fingers from Illumi’s backside, Illumi sighing silently at the sudden emptiness.

“Hurry.”

“Right,” Hisoka answered breathlessly, fingers already ripping open a condom he pulled from apparently thin air. Illumi’s mouth ran dry.

Hisoka wasted no time in hunting down the dropped lube bottle, slicking a generous amount over his straining erection. _Need_ clawed at Illumi’s guts and he wriggled impatiently only to get a shushing noise whispered against his neck. Hisoka sure had a thing for his neck.

That thought was lost for a long time as Illumi’s mind went white when Hisoka hoisted up his hips and finally, _finally god finally_ pushed his cock inside and Illumi shuddered and was stretched out and full, just hot, god, fuck _so good_ between that cold wall and the sweaty plane of muscles, trapped, helpless while Hisoka groaned and his breath burned on Illumi’s face.

And then Hisoka moved and Illumi couldn’t do anything except dig his nails into those wide shoulders and hold on for life.

Hisoka’s pace built up to a brutal one almost instantly, fast and rough and almost angry, making Illumi’s guts squirm with pleasure; one of his hands reached down to wrap around his cock, flushed and slick with precome and so good, so fucking sensitive to Illumi’s touch he nearly came right then and there.

Illumi moaned; Hisoka's left hand had made its way into Illumi's hair, fingers rough, snagging, pulling, _yanking_ sharp against his scalp and Illumi fucking let him, neck craned to give those nails better access, more room more more _more-_

His legs twitched ungracefully in raw pleasure as Hisoka fucked him against the wall.

A microscopic part of Illumi’s brain had Illumi wondering about the condition of his shirt and then that thought evaporated when Hisoka changed angles and hammered straight into Illumi’s prostate.

Hisoka, Hisoka, Hisoka, _Hisoka-_

Hisoka grinned at him and Illumi realized with a jolt that somewhere along the way, the mantra in his head had grown to a mantra outside his head, and an embarrassingly loud one at that. But it didn't bother him right now, and it _obviously_ didn't bother Hisoka if the way his grip tightening on Illumi’s thighs said anything, nails digging deep into the flesh with a sharp ache that went straight to lllumi’s cock.

Illumi flung his head back against the wall and that was definitely gonna leave a lump later but right now he didn't _care_ , he couldn’t care less about anything except, _god,_ that angle Hisoka was hitting just right, and those sinfully sharp nails clawing under his shirt.

Illumi crashed their mouths together, licking and sucking up every filthy little noise Hisoka let slip into his mouth and _fuck_ , all of it was making that coil of heat rising sinfully fast through Illumi’s gut; he was close, so _close_ , Illumi groaned loud and pulled back.

“His-”

Hisoka’s teeth sank into his collarbone and Illumi saw white. He came with a silent scream, head thrown back against the wall.  Hisoka moaned, face buried into Illumi’s neck as his hips erratically snapped out his own orgasm.

_God,_ Illumi thought hazily, heavy pants mingling with Hisoka’s. The air around them smelled like sweat and cinnamon; Illumi could feel it clinging stickily to his shirt and skin as they untangled slowly. He grimaced when Hisoka slipped himself out and gingerly set Illumi’s feet back on the ground.

Hisoka’s bare chest was still heaving under Illumi’s hands, flushed and kiss-bitten, dotted with faint splotches of his own purple lipstick, courtesy of Illumi’s eager mouth; Illumi was pretty sure the rest was stained all over _his_ face and neck if Hisoka’s half-lidded stare was any indication. Illumi found himself staring back.

“I guess the favor is repaid,” Illumi blurted suddenly, surprising both himself and Hisoka. After a moment, Hisoka let out a bark of raspy laughter and Illumi felt his shoulders ease.

“With interest,” Hisoka said, voice rougher than ever before; Illumi’s gaze slipped down to the tell-tale collar of bruises circling the flushed neck. The smooth skin looked so inviting that Illumi just couldn’t resist pressing a curious finger to one of the darkening blemishes. Hisoka arched into the touch.

“Does it hurt?” Illumi asked.

“Not enough,” Hisoka answered sweetly, raising a few fingers of his own to rub at the bruises. His yellow eyes bored into Illumi’s and they crinkled mysteriously at the corners. “Such a shame I decided to wear a turtleneck today.”

Shame, huh. Illumi allowed himself a small amused smile as Hisoka’s sharp nails grazed his hand.

If Hisoka skated as passionately as he fucked, Illumi might have to reconsider his ‘no unofficial competitions’ rule. Maybe, just for one time. Maybe. 

“Just so you know-” Hisoka started, hoarse voice cutting through Illumi’s thoughts.  A strange grin curved his bitten lips. “You have exactly six minutes before Killua expects you down at the rink.”

Illumi stiffened. Hisoka cocked his head and merely gave Illumi’s fingers one last scrape before Illumi ripped his hand away, irritation surging through his veins.

“You did that on purpose.” Illumi shouldered roughly past the handyman to grab his pants, hands already buttoning his shirt back up.

Hisoka’s laughter followed him to the door.

**Author's Note:**

> this was mostly for my own amusement. you want realistic smut, go watch porn.
> 
> time-to-change-away.tumblr.com


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